Off-campus living offers more freedom

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I did the whole living in the dorms thing for two years. And when I moved off campus, let me tell you, freedom never felt so good.

Not that living in the dorms is all bad — free toilet paper and food you don’t have to cook isn’t awful.

What is bad is the constant baby-sitting done by the residence halls. You can’t have a simple Super Bowl party, completely clean, without five guys with flashlights knocking on your door.

No, officer, I mean RA, I’m not drinking in here. I just don’t want people bothering me while I’m watching the game. Guess that plan backfired.

Also, there is nothing hotter to someone you’re trying to bring home than saying you have to make sure your roommate isn’t doing homework.

It’s a buzz kill.

On the other hand, living off campus never quite raises any of those problems.

Living in a house gives all of the great things about the dorms (shelter, heat … that’s about it) and comes without all of the bad stuff.

You never have to worry about having a keg in your sink, or fret about lighting candles in your room.

Yes, for those of you unaware of the intricacies of residence hall policy, candles are illegal, as are toasters, George Foreman grills, or anything that can accidentally fall over and light your carpet/loft/residence hall on fire.

Off campus, as long as you don’t keep an open can of turpentine next to your scented display, the thought of your room burning to flames never has to cross your mind.

Besides, even if you have a dictator landlord who doesn’t allow candles in the apartment, they don’t tour every residence they own three times a night.

The only RA you have to worry about is the actual cops, and if you’re going to get in trouble, why not skip the middle man?

But, seriously, the cops are nowhere near as bothersome as hall mentors can be. For starters, they don’t stroll by your house every two hours. The boys in blue, contrary to popular belief, have much more to do with their time, and are paid to keep the peace, not to hand out TP. The police only bother you if they are told to, and if you are on good terms with your neighbors, there usually isn’t a problem.

I also find when you have your own room, you never have to ask anybody to leave it. Until the next day. Just kidding ladies, take your time.

If you’re worried about the food because you can’t cook and even find a way to mess up mac and cheese, there’s no problem. It’s still possible to buy a meal plan if you live off campus, and since they can be used at any dorm, there is always something close.

However, if you are a good cook, or at least think you are, it’s much more convenient to cook with a stove or oven than trying to play Emeril with a hot plate. It’s nice to be able to cook whatever you want, whenever you want it, and never have to worry about lighting the room on fire if your George Foreman shorts out.

The other problem with dorm living is the parking, or should I say the lack thereof.

Unless you feel like paying a hefty fine, parking in front of your place is a no go.

Yet, off-campus houses have a way of being built with driveways, and apartment buildings often have a parking lot attached.

Overall, living off campus is much better than living in the dorms. No RAs, no walking in on your suitemate in the bathroom and no free toilet paper.

Well … that last one I can look past.

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