No excuses for sporting ugly UGG boots

Originally Published: 01/28/08 10:06pm |Modified: 01/28/08 10:22pm | No comments

Thea Neal

Like many college women, I am obsessed with fashion. I read the blogs, I buy the magazines. I recently even had a “The Devil Wears Prada” moment, making Lifestyle reporter Maggie Lillis exchange her frumpy brown shoes for a pair of my brown patent 3-inch heeled Mary Janes.

However, unlike other fashion-savvy women, I sport one huge difference.

I don’t own a single pair of UGG boots.

Let’s pretend you have no idea what “Uggs” are. They’re a brand of sheepskin boot, made by the brand UGG.

I’m curious as to who thought the boots would be socially acceptable to wear outside of a pig pen.

When Uggs first hit the scene as a trendy clothing item, I rolled my eyes and mocked my friends for buying them. If we’d seen the hideous boots five years ago, none of us would’ve worn them. The boots look like something you’d see on the feet of a mountain man’s wife.

As the winters go by, I continue to hope the rest of the female (and some male) population can look past the UGG. I ask my friends why they invest grotesque amounts of money into the tacky shoes. Here are the reasons I’ve received, and my responses to why they’re wrong.

1. They’re practical.

Fashion has never been practical. Do you think Marie Antoinette gave a crap about practical when she was wearing 20-pound headpieces? Did Madonna care about practicality when she was donning the cone bra for “Vogue?” Does Victoria Beckham wear fierce 5-inch stilettos because they’re PRACTICAL? No, no and no. As fashion evolves, it’s never once been about practicality. So you can tromp around the snow in your Uggs. You look stupid. So avoid the snow.

2. They’re comfortable.

There are lots of things in life that are comfortable. Crew-neck sweatshirts. Bell-bottom jeans. Not wearing a bra. But would you ever leave the house in any of these? I hope not. If something is uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear it. Hell, if that was true, no one would ever wear high heels, and I doubt men would even wear ties with suits.

3. They’re stylish.

I wonder if Uggs would be as stylish if they weren’t so expensive. For the price of the brand’s most popular pair, $120, you could buy a pair of Juicy Couture flats, or even an iPod shuffle. If Uggs were only $10, would they be such a wanted item? I doubt it. However, Crocs are the awful Uggs of summer, and they run for only $29.99. That’s $30 you might as well just spend on your obituary in the world of fashion suicide.

For you trend followers, you can even get fleece-lined Crocs, which resemble the spawn of an affair between Uggs and Crocs. They have the correct name of “Mammoth.”

Unfortunately, the only thing that’s mammoth about the shoes is what a hideous mistake they are.