Assault victims bear no responsibility for attacks

Thank you for writing this.

What we really need, I think, is for people to actually stop a second a think about the impact of what they are saying and how much they might be hurting someone.

Many sexual assaut survivors already blame themselves. Many survivors already get caught up in “what should I have done”, “if I had only”, “I should have known better”, et cetere et cetera. Many sexual assualt survivors don’t tell friends and/or family about the assult because of people blaming them and judging them for not having done the “right” things to prevent the assult. And women have been told that we need to be on the lookout for rape all the time, our whole lives. It still happens because looking around the corner will not stop sexual assaults from happening.
Many women who are sexually assualted thought about it ahead of time, many had plans in their minds, some put a lot of work into taking self-defense classes, working out, et cetera so the can prevent the assault. And the more steps women have taken to try to prevent assaults, the more they tend to blame themselves and feel like failures because despite that they were assaulted.

We don’t know anything about this woman. We don’t know how many of these categories she falls into or doesn’t. And talking about what she should have done better just further isolates survivors and sends the message that they were at fault- when the real people at fault are those who committ the assaults.
Blaming survivors does nothing to help them, it does not facilitate the healing process, and it doesn’t stop assaults from happening.

As a surivor myself, as someone who has a lot of close friends/family who are survivors and someone who works with survivors, I simply don’t know how to express how much of a negative impact these things have.

Sorry, I don’t buy it. I read the police brief, and she definitely did not cross the line. The police brief reported on what happened, and then gave tips that people can use to try to better protect themselves. Nowhere in the article did it imply that the woman was in any way at fault. And of course, she was not.

Would you prefer that law enforcement officials and others did not try to educate people in self defense and protection measures?

There certainly is a line that gets crossed in this type of scenario – I have read insensitive remarks relating to this kind of thing before. But Cathy is reaching way too far to try to create something out of this, and I don’t understand that.

This is an instance of an innocent person doing nothing wrong, and being attacked by bad people. It’s as simple as that. And it would be disgusting for someone to try to attach any blame to her. But the police DID NOT do that. Why would you pretend as if it had?

That second to last sentence should read “But the police ‘brief’ DID NOT do that”.

Thank you for your letter. I felt the same way after reading the police brief.

I disagree. I don’t see how that is placing blame on her at all. It’s simply pointing out to other people how to avoid becoming a victim. There are bad people in this world that will do bad things no matter how much you try to teach them that it is wrong. If you don’t watch out for yourself, no one else will. It’s that simple.

Whether or not the brief crossed the line is something that can only be decided by the victim…she was the only one who knows what she thought and saw at the time.

That being said…its really nice to think that we can prevent rape and assault by providing a list of alternative outlets for rapists, but if it worked, wouldn’t it already happen? Unfortunately, until there is a legitimate form of control on the potential offender, the potential victims have to bare the burden of safety. This is not to say that the victim in this case didn’t take all precautions (I have no idea, I wasn’t there), this is simply in response to a previous post asserting that women can’t do anything to stop an attack.

I disagree with the letter. I think Lubbers’ brief simply informs people as to how best to avoid being assaulted on campus and off. It does not say the victim didn’t do those things, and it does not guarantee that the given tips will completely counter the determination of a monster in the bushes. Nothing wrong with being informative.

Good letter. How many other police briefs have a random student giving comment (and advice) on the crime?

hmm,
It wasn’t a police brief. It was a normal SN article that involved the police.

Mayhaps you students should read your State News more often. They have been warning you all about a tall man in a sweatshirt comitting crimes recently. Should have been on the lookout!

I fail to see how ‘looking in the bushes’ will prevent an attack. I haven’t seen one police brief or article where it stated ‘the woman looked at the attacker, and he ran away’.

You’re obviously missing the point here. The intent of anything is not really seen in an article, and is irrelevant when others read it. By telling people ways in which they can prevent rape, they are assuming that it would never happen or that somehow you are able to stop rape by checking in the bushes, not walking around at night, etc. and that the person should have been doing that. That doesn’t help the millions of rape survivors who are thinking, “Oh, if I had done that, then I wouldn’t have been raped.” The fact remains that for every one rape survivor who looks at that article and feels angry and attacked for indirect blame, there are hundreds more who will buy in and think that they should have done something. But let’s face it – regardless of what you do, rape IS going to happen because the people who commit it exist.

Besides, have you ever been in a situation where you had tons of training and forgot it all in the heat of the moment? Training might help, but it is easy to forget when you’re facing an attacker. Not walking around at night might help lower rape…until you start realizing that a) rapes happen during the day and b) shouldn’t women (and men) have equal right to walk around any time they want? That’s like telling a person with a driver’s license they can’t drive because you might get into an accident. Furthermore, Cathy’s comment at the end wasn’t meant to actually publish an article about what rapists can do instead of rape, but rather demonstrating the uselessness (and moreover, harmful effects) of blaming rape victims.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t try some things like to walk with their friends at night, but survivors shouldn’t be blamed for not doing them. They shouldn’t have to.

That’s like telling a person with a driver’s license they can’t drive because you might get into an accident.

It is funny, because we do exactly that. We not only tell them they can’t drive, but give them a ticket when the drunks do.

I would like to mention, it is wise to avoid driving between the hours of 2am and 3am. If you are hit between these times, I am not blaming you, it is not your fault; but, you could take some responsibility for your safety and avoid being in a bad situation.

In general I usually agree with letters like this. However, in this case I do not think the SN did anything wrong. I think that there is a difference in saying that it was this woman’s fault (because it is NEVER the victims fault) and articulating that there are steps that other women can take to lower their chances of becoming a victim.

Wow you people will complain about anything.

Let me guess what you want next – instead of an article asking people to lock their dorm doors so they don’t get robbed, write an article asking robbers to take a moment to consider the meaning of life and what place stealing has in it?

80% of sexual assault is acquaintance rape. Women can take all the “necessary” precautions, not walk alone, know self defense, etc, but it still will not prevent her from being raped by someone close in her life. The tips from the police were helpful, but also should have included a note that there really is no way to be completely safe from rape. Yeah, it’s a scary thought so we like to pretend that if we hadn’t done walked alone, or had that drink we would have prevented rape. At the end of the day, if there’s a rapist in the room, someone will be raped because rapist prey on the vulnerable.

You cannot place the “burden of safety” on the victim, because it is not their choice. There are days where we just can’t find someone to walk with us at night even if we can find someone every other night but one. It is the perpetrators choice, and they are the ones all the burden should be placed on.

80% of sexual assault is acquaintance rape. Women can take all the “necessary” precautions, not walk alone, know self defense, etc, but it still will not prevent her from being raped by someone close in her life. The tips from the police were helpful, but also should have included a note that there really is no way to be completely safe from rape. Yeah, it’s a scary thought so we like to pretend that if we hadn’t done walked alone, or had that drink we would have prevented rape. At the end of the day, if there’s a rapist in the room, someone will be raped because rapist prey on the vulnerable.

You cannot place the “burden of safety” on the victim, because it is not their choice. There are days where we just can’t find someone to walk with us at night even if we can find someone every other night but one. It is the perpetrators choice, and they are the ones all the burden should be placed on.

“until you start realizing that a) rapes happen during the day”
And in doors, at a party or in your home, with friends, with a significant other. Perpatrated not only by some men hiding in bushes, but also by people who know, love and trust.
There are some things that have worked for some women to prevent an assault. I’m not saying assaults can never be prevented… or at least stopped sooner- I mean, by the time you know someone is attempting to sexually assault you, there’s aleady a level of trauma to that. But yes, some things have worked. But it depends on the specifics of the situation. There is no one cure all you can just tell women and stop all rape, and even if there was, looking in the bushes certainly wouldn’t be it.

“instead of an article asking people to lock their dorm doors so they don’t get robbed”

Where was that article? Cause I seem to remember in articles about people being robbed from in the dorms with unlocked doors- or even OPEN doors- all the commentary being on how this is horrible because it ruins that feeling of community in dorms created by leaving doors open or unlocked, and makes people feel they have to lock their doors and then they don’t make as many friends!
I’ve actually yet to see articles about other crimes include these little tips on how the crime could have been prevented.