Friday, March 29, 2024

Love drives same-sex marriage fight

Dan Faas

As my mother, my third-grade teacher and the Plain White T’s all used to say, “Hate is a strong word.”

And I agree. But I would propose that love is an even stronger word, abused and misunderstood even more by our society.

In the past several weeks, a lot of ink has been spilled over California’s Proposition 8, a proposed constitutional amendment that will define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. State News reporter Thea Neal in a column, Keep fighting for same-sex marriage (SN 11/7), said that the proposition took on the name “Prop H8te” by many gay advocacy groups.

After the defeat of the proposition by a slim margin, many pro-gay groups are re-energized and challenging many Christian establishments.

The thinking among many of these groups is that citizens — bigoted, intolerant and hateful citizens — are trying to restrict and take away the rights of homosexuals. Just as in the days of segregation, they say, homosexuals are being discriminated against purely due to their sexual orientation.

As unpopular as it may be for me to say so, I support Proposition 8. But let’s be clear about one thing — it’s not because I’m a hateful person.

I happen to believe that homosexuality is a disorder. To approve of gay “marriage” would be to support homosexuality, and to say that it’s normal and healthy. I fail to see where my heart is burning with hatred for holding those beliefs. I strive to be a person of love, imperfect as I am.

Love is about wanting what’s right for the other person, even if it hurts. It’s not merely a feeling. It is not equivalent to sex. It’s about self-sacrifice. Love is patient and kind, not boastful or arrogant.

Unfortunately, many Christian groups are not patient and kind, but rather boastful and arrogant. I’m in no position to apologize on behalf of all Christianity, but God help me if I don’t try.

Men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity, in every area of life — especially places of worship. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard has to be avoided. “Tolerance” is a stupid word. I don’t want to simply tolerate people, I want to love them.

Any Christian group who tries to bully, intimidate or scare those based on their sexual orientation is not acting Christian at all, and is not acting out of the example of Jesus. Homosexuals should always feel welcomed and loved by Christians — all Christians. The fact that that hasn’t been the case for so long is the real abomination.

With that being said, I’m not in favor of redefining marriage to include same-sex unions. I’m in favor of democracy, but it irks me when the losing side of the democratic coin tries to force judges to define morality. It didn’t work in 1973 with Roe v. Wade and it won’t work now. Nobody’s mind is going to change — only their hearts.

Many of the arguments for same-sex marriage rely heavily on emotion. I understand that this is a heated topic for many — especially those who are fighting to be able to “marry” someone they want to be with. But this is not an issue of emotion. It’s an issue of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong.

The role of this opinion page is not to berate people for the way they vote, and I’ve seen far too much of that talk for my liking.

I’m against abortion not because I want to place a burden on the mother, but because I love the unborn child. I’m against embryonic stem cell research not because I want to prevent the discovery of cures, but because I believe that embryos have souls. I’m against gay marriage not because I want to restrict the rights of homosexuals, but because I care about them so much that I just can’t advocate that kind of behavior.

What I believe about God motivates me in every way, albeit imperfectly. I try not be a hateful person, and I try to act, live and vote out of love.

What Thea Neal said in her column is dead-on: Jesus would have voted for love. But only a love that is full, total and free. A love that is patient and kind.

A love that got my hero nailed to a cross.

Dan Faas is a State News staff writer. Reach him at faasdani@msu.edu

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