Dignity has place on Halloween

Dan Faas, you’re not in the spirit of Halloween.

I’m glad another guy finally admits to feeling this same way. There are plenty of beautiful girls on this campus and there is no reason they need to sacrifice dignity to get noticed by a guy like me. You can have fun without selling yourself as a piece of meat!

Good letter Dan. Sadly, i dont think a lot of people will get it but thanks for sending the truth out there.

Bravo!

Thank you Dan. It’s encouraging to hear this from a guy!

There are so many guys who feel this way, and I’m one of them. Thanks for writing Dan!

While this might be a valiant argument in principle, either the tone or just the fact that it’s written by a man smacks of a slightly misogynistic view that women should hide their sexuality. This probably isn’t the intent, but any “uplifting” argument that women shouldn’t feel the need to dress “slutty” that includes a warning of “being taken advantage of by some drunken idiot at a party or bar” but doesn’t include the sentiment that this worry is 10x more deplorable than a overly sexy costume borders on victim-blaming and plays into the rape culture that pervades every college campus.

Annnnnnnd That didnt take long.

Thanks “Troubled” for letting us know that “just the fact that (this article) is written by a man” makes it “misogynistic”. [In case people dont know the definition of that is: a hatred of women, as a sexually defined group]

Really, you found this to exemplify hatred towards women? Where exactly? Please, i’d love to hear this reasoning.

What exactly is it you want, men to treat women like objects, or men to do the exact opposite of objectify women, to esteem their dignity and humanity?

Essentially you’re saying that both are the same because Dan is apparently damned if he says either in your eyes.

While i could elaborate on who exactly was being sexist etc. here I think it’s pretty obvious.

This whole article reaks of benevolent sexism. I agree with “Troubled”. Why not write about the bigger issue here; a letter to the MEN of MSU informing them of the importance of treating women with respect regardless of what they are wearing—on Halloween or any day of the year. I especially do not like when you say that “Starbucks Girl” was “too pretty to parade [her] body around on a cold October night just for attention.” I’m not even sure what this really means…that attractive women are free from the need to exploit themselves but less attractive women should hike up their skirts and plunge their necklines? I don’t know. And this “Too pretty” line is benevolent sexism at its finest. In the words of Gloria Steinem, “A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.”

reeeeeeally likes what Troubled had to say.

Halloween is one of the only excuses I ever get to dress in a show-stopping costume without getting as many “what a ho” glances at a party. Please don’t condescend and “tsk tsk” me!

What I am wearing as a Halloween costume does NOT have anything at ALL to do with what happens to me at a party…
…OR THE LEVEL OF DIGNITY WITH WHICH I AM TREATED.

Please. Starbucks Girl saying she was planning on “slutting it up” seems to go a little deeper than her choice of Halloween attire.

We’ll wear whatever we want. Please, try to keep your hands to yourself!

Nice job. I admire your sentiment a LOT…a lot of girls need to hear it. They probably won’t care or listen but as a woman, I appreciate this being said by a guy. Som thank you!!

Nice job. I admire your sentiment a LOT…a lot of girls need to hear it. They probably won’t care or listen but as a woman, I appreciate this being said by a guy. So, thank you!!

This is what we call ‘white knighting’. Guess what, the girls want to dress sexy and be looked at. That’s why they do it.

Fighting for their ‘virtue’ is demeaning to them and suggests that they’re incapable of acting virtuous on their own.

Troubled, it is far from misogynistic or sexist to suggest that a woman should “hide” her sexuality. In former days, this was called modesty and its purpose was to protect women from being used as objects of pleasure while positively affirming their dignity as women. Furthermore, the suggestion that a woman is more susceptible to sexual assault due to immodest dress is hardly victim-blaming. The principle is simple; to the extent that women value their dignity—as reflected in their behavior and dress—men will do so.

Pope John Paul the Great once said that the trouble with pornography (read: immodest dress, behavior, or any form of immodesty) is not that it shows too much, but that it shows to little. He means that woman is more than a body, more than an object of pleasure, more than a commodity to be bought and sold, consumed and discarded. She is a creature of inestimable worth, and as such deserves so much more than what any amount of money or admiration, indeed, anything less than the total gift of self (i.e. monogomous union) in return for her gift of self.

Dan, I certainly hope you ignore the people who disagree with your article.

“This whole article reaks of benevolent sexism.” – GIVE ME A BREAK. Seriously, stop being ridiculous people, this article clearly shows that Dan has the utmost respect for women.

Of course most feminists are always unhappy with the little press coverage their cause gets. Take what you can get. This guy wrote a relative article that speaks to college students on an important topic.

“Halloween is one of the only excuses I ever get to dress in a show-stopping costume without getting as many “what a ho” glances at a party. Please don’t condescend and “tsk tsk” me!”

Feminist FAIL

@ FAIL

Thanks for not mistaking me as a feminist!

I’m an educated, grown woman who likes to dress show-stoppingly once in a while. I can’t wear my “Princess Peach” costume at work, can I? How about at college? How about at a family reunion? Oh, wait, Halloween is ACCEPTING of that kind of thing.

At a normal college or work party (not the super Greek beer fests you probably have in mind) people wear jeans and tees. You don’t get “costumes” without frank stares. Halloween costume parties are when it is all acceptable.

Why did the “feminist” label start getting thrown around? We’re all just saying “Lay off, dude, it’s okay, you don’t have to write an article to tsk-tsk a girl who said the wrong thing in line in front of you and made you worry about her honor”….

You people are all rediculous…If a woman wants an excuse to dress provocativly, she is well within her rights to take it, she dosent need an excuse really. A persons style of dress never indicates their personal worth either. Starbucks girl is also well within her rights to not be critisized for her costume of choice, or style of everyday dress, “slutty” or not.
As a man, I find sexy dressing women attractive…I also find intellegence, wit, tattoos, and glasses attractive; amongst many other things. I will not be judged, or accused of mysogyny, or referred to as troubled. These things are all PATENTLY NORMAL.

This whole article is condesending in tone and purpose. Dan, writing this article does not make you superior.

So let’s think about this. Dan, as a friend, I know that you definitely have good intentions for writing this article. I understand that you’re trying to help women by telling them that they’re worth more than how they look and dress.

However, you’re missing out on the bigger picture. “Feminist” had it right when she said that you should have written an article addressed to men on campus instead. Look at how you are perpetuating this idea that men can’t help but enjoy looking at women who are scantily clad. Notice how you are telling women to be safe instead of asking why they have to do that. And more importantly, why the way a woman dresses has anything to do with her safety and whether or not she’ll do something that she’ll regret.

Do you realize what you’re saying here? “…women far too pretty to risk being taken advantage of by some drunken idiot at a party or bar.” What? I didn’t realize that it was a woman’s fault if she gets taken advantage of. Well, Dan, here’s something for you: women get taken advantage of ALL OF THE TIME regardless of the length of their dress or the how far the neckline plunges.

There’s a bigger issue here at play and it’s certainly not about the sexual revolution or “so-called feminists” (and you might right to actually listen when you talk to your friends about feminism next time so you can actually understand what it really means to advocate feminism, instead of taking one idea of it and perpetuating a stereotype). It’s about our culture. It’s about the virgin/whore dichotomy. It’s about victim blaming. It’s about women choosing what they want to wear. Maybe women won’t gain the respect of people like you, Dan, when they dress like “sluts”. But, honestly, the way that I dress has never really been about you and I don’t see it ever becoming about you. So thank you for the words of wisdom,Dan, but no, thank you.

My freshman year of college, I dressed up as a Tiger’s player. I thought I had on a pretty decent outfit until I started seeing what other girls on my floor were wearing. Let’s just say, my ‘innocent’ upbringing had not prepared me for the suggestive outfits. But to fit in and go along with what now seemed like the “spirit of Halloween”, I wore a short jean skirt and unbuttoned the top two buttons of my Tiger’s jersey. My sophomore year, I was Wonderwoman. It wasn’t a “slutty” outfit if you wish to use that terminology but the skirt was short and I found myself trying to pull it down the entire night at the frat party hoping it would magically become longer. My junior year, I was a “band-aid” from Almost Fmaous. This time, I wore jeans and a t-shirt and attempted to dress myself in traditional hippie attire. For me, the days of trying to impress the crowd and men were over. I was who I was, and if a man wasn’t interested in me for that, well he didn’t deserve to see my boobs in my Halloween costume either. This year, I have no idea what I want to be for Halloween. I think I might go thrift shopping and just see what happens …

Getting to the point: As women on a college campus, many of us form to what is ‘expected’ of us. This may not be the case for all college women but it certainly was for me and some of my friends. We felt that it was expected of us to go out and dress a bit more provocatively on Halloween. As in Mean Girls, we felt like it was the one night of the year where we could show off our cleavage and wearing a bit more make-up without getting unwanted stares or awkward, beckoning looks from men. But why? Why did I feel like this? Why do so many college women feel this way? Why is Halloween USA filled to the brim with outfits that make Finding Nemo look like a Playboy costume? I could blame it on society, I could blame it on men such as Tucker Max, and I could blame it on the girls that walk to class with tight pants and low cut v-necks. But really, we can’t blame anyone. I guess this is why the article bugged me quite a bit. Women should be able to dress the way they desire and without the fear of looks from men. Women should be able to show cleavage and wear short shorts because they are proud of their body. Maybe the girl you see running outside is wearing a sports bra and shorts is doing so because it is HOT out, not because she wants to get that extra honk from a man driving by. Just because women dress a certain way, does not mean that they are asking for it. So what if Starbucks girl wants to “slut it up”. That is her prerogative! But maybe, just perhaps, we should look a little more closely at the issue. Why does she feel she has to slut it up? Why does she feel she has to wear multiple costumes over Halloween weekend? Why do we as women feel as though that extra bit of boob will get us the guy’s attention? Aren’t we just putting the issue into too small of a box?

And don’t event get my started on the “so called feminists” comment! Dressing in a racy outfit to produce “feminine pride” or “sexual freedom” is NOT what feminism stands for. How narrow-minded to think so! As defined by dictionary.com, feminism is “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” I may be completely out in left field, but isn’t this something we all want?

Thanks Dan, this needed to be said. I pray that the woman of East Lansing will listen and protect themselves.

etakhael, it is not an either/or question, “either women dress modestly or men respect their dignity.” Yes, an article that challenges men to respect women’s dignity is neccessary (in fact, Dan WROTE just such an article), but that does not preclude the need for an article that challenges women to dress and behave in a manner that reflects their dignity. And, despite what anyone says, behavior and manner of dress DOES make a difference in how women are treated. To suggest that women should be able to dress and act in a manner that is beneath their dignity and should expect to be treated differently is a recipe for DISASTER. Do not fall prey to this sophistry.

“ realize that I might not have changed your mind. But I also hope that after Halloween you realize that you are beautiful the other 364 days of the year, and you don’t need to show off your body simply to get noticed. I hope you know that you, like every single woman on this campus, are worthy of respect and deserve to be treated like a lady. If nothing else, know that.”

I love how somehow this article, with the quote above being the theme running throughout, has caused people to get really upset. His kindness is apparently an insult.

My thoughts exactly. More guys should think/act like this. The “Slut Rule” is obnoxious.