Columnist rages against catcalls

I once accidentally flicked off a priest because I thought he was one of you. Anytime my daily run is interrupted by an obnoxious car horn, I immediately jump to conclusions, and the end result is the high-flying, rage-filled, stride quickening and obscene hand gesture that is provenly effective at assuring either one of two things.

Mary Lefere

The first option: the silence of the horn. The second and more frightening option: the quick reversal of the vehicle, the revving of macho-man engines and the attempt at saving a man’s masculinity by aggressively glaring at the girl-criminal who made the mistake of defending her right to run five miles without being harassed.

The 17-year-old version of myself assumed that the priest from my high school, simply greeting a student he saw running while driving home, was one of the countless raving idiots I quite literally run across during my daily exercise excursions.

Upon entering the life of an East Lansing resident, I quickly realized the situation was even more ridiculous on campus than it was in my hometown. Although running for my high school cross country team certainly was met with the occasional “yeah baby, work for that body,” the extent to which students are bombarded with “flattering catcalls” (contradiction?) on campus is astounding. I am sure to expect at least one and often more than one comment every time I strap on my New Balance kicks and head out the door. Astounding, yes. But more importantly, it’s obnoxious.

Please, I get it. I am fully aware of your heterosexuality. I am 100 percent on board with the belief that you are attracted to women. I would simply appreciate the courtesy of not interrupting my 45 minutes of peace to prove this fact.

The seventh mile of the Detroit Marathon last month found me running among 20,000 other participants, all of us on a bit of a high from finally enduring the feat that we had trained for for months. I was making my way through Canada, I was a minute ahead of what I needed for my mile splits, and the sun had just risen as we crossed over the Ambassador Bridge. The exciting prospect of the finish line waited for me in the distant 19 miles ahead, and I was certain that nothing could shatter the assurance in the pit of my stomach that all was well and good with the world. That world hunger would end, that every child would be loved throughout the globe and that the Yankees would lose the World Series if only my legs moved a bit more swiftly.

Obviously, runner’s high promises are quite empty.

The wheelchair marathon participants (who, by the way, are incredible) began the race three minutes ahead of us. Despite the head start, there were a few stragglers foraging through the sea of runners, attempting to make their way out of the congested block of athletes before we crossed through the Windsor Tunnel.

I heard one brave participant making his way behind me, and I turned my head to the left to extend a gasping “good job!” and a bright optimistic smile his way. His response? “Hey girl, you’re lookin’ hot today.”

I was a number of passionate adjectives after experiencing this. Livid, frustrated, let down and most definitely freaked out since I knew his eyesight had just been level with my backside three seconds prior to his comment.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not a raging angry feminist, I’m honestly just annoyed. And although there are those who simply aim to bother runners on the streets of East Lansing, I am directing this sentiment toward those who are under the impression that they are extending a compliment our way.

In an attempt to educate the well-intentioned men of MSU, I will reiterate this point. The jeers are obnoxious, not flattering, and your interruption does not boost my self-esteem, it simply results in my iPod volume turning to the highest level. So, stop? Please?

At least save me my hearing, and also the awkwardness of sitting in a confessional and admitting that I had flicked my confessor off. Again.

Mary Lefere is a State News assistant copy chief. Reach her at leferem1@msu.edu.