Technology barrier to human contact

Cristina Toscano

Ring, ring, you have officially been dumped by someone else who was paid to do it.

A new Web site, called IDUMP4U.com, will let you break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend for the cost of two Italian Night Club subs from Jimmy John’s and 50 cents in change.

All you do is give your information and significant other’s phone number to Bradley Laborman, the creator of IDUMP4U.com, and a little bit of background information as to why you want to kick your boyfriend or girlfriend to the curb. The going rates are $10 for regular breakups, $25 for engagement breakups and $50 for divorces. The more serious the relationship, the more it’ll cost him to do the dirty work for you.

Not only does he get paid to break hearts, but he also will record the conversations and post them online. Some breakups might seem well deserved, but in the back of my mind I can’t help but feel bad for the poor schmuck. What if that was me being dumped by a guy paid to point out my flaws in a relationship and broadcast them on the Internet?
After visiting the Web site and having a good laugh at some of the video clips of the phone calls, it’s hard for me to take this service seriously. Yet I bet some people probably would.

I can be a pretty passive-aggressive person and occasionally might be cheap, but I don’t think I could ever sink as low as to pay somebody to call up a guy I was dating and tell him I could no longer date him because he’d rather play “Grand Theft Auto IV” than paint my toenails.

These technology-based ways of getting to know the person you want to date — and getting rid of them — have seriously weakened the basic social skills we should be developing. Instead of hearing that person’s voice, a cute text message has become an acceptable substitute, so that when that time comes to actually talk on the phone, awkward blubbering ensues. Maybe if you play your cards right, you’ll get to talk to him or her in real life!

It wasn’t that long ago that ending relationships over the phone was appalling and sending a breakup e-mail was downright shameful. But now our generation definitely has hit a new low. Not just with IDUMP4U.com, but even a quick text of, “SRY LETZ BRAKE UP” is almost considered tolerable. At the very least, if you’re going to text message breakup with someone, learn how to spell first.

I’m all for technology, considering I probably wouldn’t have come as far as I have without it. I’m not sure I could go a day without using my iPod, phone or laptop, which definitely have become necessary evils. But, when it gets to the point where I’m actually okay with Facebook chatting my own father more than picking up the phone and calling, I feel like that is when I need to take a giant step back and evaluate a few things.

Obviously all relationships are different and have various levels of seriousness. Plain and simple, if you’ve ever cared about a person enough to have a relationship with them and have the means to look them in the eye, they are at least owed the honest and uncomfortable breakup conversation via you (and not via webcam). If you don’t want to do that, then maybe you shouldn’t be dating in the first place.

The way you treat someone near the end of a relationship will really affect his or her future. You could end up being blamed for trust issues and the emotional wall that may be built up in future relationships. Or you could end up being the boyfriend or girlfriend who helped them grow as a person and taught them how to navigate through good and bad times of a relationship, sending them on their way to be happily one step closer to “the one.” Which would you prefer?

Hopefully it’s the option allowing you to smile at an ex when you run into them in the future, and not the option that would justify them throwing an ice-cold drink in your face and then, of course, posting the video online.

Cristina Toscano is a State News guest columnist and journalism sophomore. Reach her at toscanoc@msu.edu: toscanoc@msu.edu.