I'm Caffeine Free: Day 3

Headache. Fatigue. Drowsiness. Irritability. Difficulty working or concentrating. Depression. Anxiety. “Flu-like symptoms.” Impairment in cognitive performances.

No, this is not a list of symptoms the people on VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab” are facing. These are the most common symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. Read: I’m screwed.

I woke up this morning with some pretty wicked shakes and an even worse headache that set in after my shower. I missed the aroma of coffee in my apartment so much I considered brewing a cup just so I could smell it, but I didn’t think I would be able to resist taking a secret sip.

Pushing the thought out of my mind, I set off for class going over the list of things I still had to complete for the week (including a book I fell asleep reading last night. Surprise, surprise.). As I walked, my head began pounding even more and in addition, I noticed my back was a little sore as well.

Coincidence? I think not. Aching muscles are a classic flu-like symptom and no amount of Tylenol seems to push them away. And believe me when I say my muscles are seriously pissed off…and so am I.

Luckily, I’m not irritable at all. Just ask my roommate or anyone who has the pleasure of interacting with me at work (I’m sorry, Daniel Luscombe.).

The biggest thing I’ve noticed, however, is the overwhelming sleepiness. I just can’t get enough sleep. As a devout coffee drinker, I accepted the fact that I would never have the most normal sleeping patterns and I embraced that. I got work done. I am a night owl and I enjoy that. Now it seems as though I cannot stay awake past 10 p.m. without wanting to doze off, read a book with getting very tired or, as said in yesterday’s blog, pull it together for any class length.

I know it seems like for someone who hasn’t had coffee in three days (and counting) these are some pretty broad statements, but caffeine withdrawal is, from what I understand, a very quick thing to take full effect.

Now it would be one thing to deal with if I was privately conducting this and going off “the junk,” as a fellow reporter put it, to better my health and myself. This, however, is not the case. I’m quitting this week in the biggest way and everyone knows, so guess what I’m reminded of everywhere I go?

“Are you staying strong, Cole?”

“Have you broken yet, Cole?”

“You f-ed up yet, Bertsos?”

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, to put all of your speculations to rest, I would like to just say that I remain true to my goal, true to the blog and in short, I am still the Master of my Domain. Though Seinfeld’s bet was quite a bit different than mine, the sentiment still stands. He didn’t break and neither will I! Take THAT George and Elaine! Er, everyone!

Well, it looks like it took writing this whole blog and re-reading it to realize I’ve totally lost my mind due to lack of caffeine, and also apparently risked dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Great. That’s how dedicated I am. Wish me luck.