Awesome U-M grads
So let’s get this straight: I don’t like the University of Michigan.
Before you all get riled up and start telling me not to write about sports in the entertainment blog, I’m going to use this space to write about a few of the many worthless celebrities that have come out of the University of Michigan. Drum roll please…
1. Michael Moore
Moore didn’t even graduate from U-M, just attended the Flint campus. Wow, a great, whiny political filmmaker.
Good job, Michigan. Not to mention how good-looking this guy is. Not that any of you probably noticed, considering your graduates are all a bit homely. Yum.
2. Ted Kaczynski
The Unabomber! This dude even got a Ph.D. from U-M in mathematics which likely aided him in sending out the mail bombs that killed three and wounded 23. I’m sure Kaczynski took a page from the U-M fashion too… unkempt hair, cheap sunglasses and a beat-up hoodie.
3. Jack Kevorkian
Wolverines love giving MSU crap about its criminal football players, but how about that Kevorkian? He killed lots of people with the help of physician-assisted suicide.
He even garnered the nickname “Dr. Death,” then got a 10- to 25-year prison sentence for second-degree murder.
4. Selma Blair
Wow, thanks Michigan for this crappy actress. You might as well have given us Tara Reid.
5. Becky Baeling
Nope, I haven’t heard of her either, but U-M is sure to put her on their list of “Famous Alumni.” Apparently Baeling graduated in 1999 and now has her own album called “Becstasy.” Seriously. It’s called “Becstasy.”
I don’t even need to insult them after that – Baeling did it for them.
Or, if that’s not enough, view the other U-M alumni Michigan calls “famous”: Adam Mesh, the dude who lost off “Average Joe,” Lindsay Brien, some broad from “The Real World: Seattle,” and, my personal favorite, Josh Schwadron, a contestant on “Fear Factor.” Schwadron even tossed a spider into his mouth and ate it.
Michigan intelligence at its best. Go green!
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