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May 12, 2008

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Mayer's body a tattooed wonderland

His body is now just a wonderland marred by graffiti.

I am, of course, talking about John Mayer, the doe-eyed crooner that has had my affections since he declared he wanted to run through the halls of his high school in 2003.

Photos surfaced this week of Mayer sporting a sleeve tattoo on his left arm and my spirits faded.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think tattoos are cool and I can think of plenty of examples of ink done right.

I’m all about the expression and the art form but I think it’s better in doses. Johnny, why, oh why devote your entire arm to tattoos? This is only going to backfire on you.

No matter how much you moisturize or stay out of the sun, skin doesn’t age well. Flawless skin will eventually begin to show age spots and sag and imagine how disgusting your expression à la 2008 will look as it droops off your forearm. Believe me, ticket holders at your 2028 farewell tour will no longer be watching your hands glide across your guitar. No, all eyes will be on the faded, floppy mess of a tattoo that is hitting up against it.

You’re a smart guy, J.M., what were you thinking? Respond accordingly on your blog please.

Comments RSS 2.0 Comment Feed

Matt
04/17/08 @ 11:09pm

I think it is awesome. Tattoos are great. Sleeves are even better. Your article is a floppy mess of journalism. Flop. Flop.

natasha
04/17/08 @ 11:20pm

I think John Mayer can do whatever he wants, it doesn’t take away from his musical talent. I think it’s safe to say that the tattoos won’t affect his ability to play the guitar and sing.
And, I highly doubt that John Mayer will have flabby arms in 2028, but maybe I just refuse to think of him in that way…
And, I should mention, I think people are more intrigued by his facial expressions when he sings than any tattoo on his body.

brenda
04/18/08 @ 9:43am

His mama must be so proud.

Abril
04/18/08 @ 10:04am

He’s beautiful, his music is beautiful, & his new tat is beautiful. Its another example of the creativity that his fans apprciate so much.

HollBeth
04/18/08 @ 10:22am

He declared he would run through the halls of his high school in 2001, not 2003. And if you think he’ll be saying “farewell” in 20 years, you are sooo wrong. Also in that 20 years, I have no doubt that arm will be just as toned and taut as it is right now, so never fear. His body is still a wonderland – it’s just more colorful now!

Chris
04/18/08 @ 8:30pm

What an interesting article. Sigh…

You love tattoos and yet you predict this will be a failure, or a ‘backfire’ for him. Good thing it’s him and not you, I guess.

Samantha
04/19/08 @ 5:07pm

I agree with Matt.
Not to mention, tattoos on the arms can be easily covered. So even if he fails to take care of it/re-ink it ever 10 years or so/etc, he can always opt to cover it up.
He’s got money, I don’t think you ever have to worry about him losing his looks.

snarkasaurus
04/19/08 @ 9:59pm

HollBeth, although you’re right that Room for Squares came out in 2001, according to Wikipedia, the album was “relatively unknown at the time of its release” — and based on the law of “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it,” people weren’t aware that Mayer declared was going run through the halls of his high school until mid-2002 when the song became popular.

dave
04/19/08 @ 10:09pm

how dare he not consult with every one of his fans before deciding the fate of his own skin. jerk.

Road Dog
04/20/08 @ 5:02pm

Usually there is a gender pattern in the appeal of music acts. Women often like good looking and expressive singers, while (straight) white men generally identify with sullen but flashy guitar gods. Many rock groups offer such archetypes among their personnel – Axel and Slash, Daltrey and Townsend, Mick and Keef, Plant and Page, Paul and George, etc. — to appeal to both male and female fans. However, sometimes a talented individual can combine both attributes. Chuck Berry was perhaps the first. Peter Frampton did it in the 70s and had some of the best-selling albums of all time. Now John Mayer is carrying on the tradition and reaping the rewards.

WHAT
04/22/08 @ 1:30am

WHO WROTE THIS

IT WAS YOU THEA, WASN’T IT

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