“The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” or “Secret Life,” is quite possibly the worst show I have ever seen.

Don’t get me wrong — “Jersey Shore” and the like also are horrible. But “Secret Life” isn’t touted as reality. Someone writes a script, the actors film it and the producers make the conscious decision to air it to the public.

My first issue with the show is ABC Family is creating a show about teenage pregnancy in a world where teenagers are having sex and speaking about it. All the while, the show is not intended to be controversial.

I understand the audience varies, and the network most likely has a younger demographic in mind, but maybe it should have decided to create a different show. If the show were more edgy, it would be believable.

This brings me to my second issue: The show is unrealistic. The characters are flawed in their own ways, but the extreme representations make them seem fake.

There’s Adrian, the girl portrayed as a slut, and Ricky, the guy who gets all the girls but never commits; they are common stereotypes, but not so much in high school. People grow up to develop those tendencies. These kids are supposed to be sophomores and juniors in high school.

One of the leading causes for the unrealistic feel is the horrible acting. The dialogue is long and attempts to be witty, but it usually fails.

I am fairly confident ABC Family wanted to make the cheapest show possible, so it hired the actors it could get away with paying the least amount of money. Now that the show is experiencing success, those actors probably get paid more and think their performances are flawless.

Brenda Hampton, the creator of “Secret Life,” was denied this show for more than 10 years. I would think ABC Family would take a hint. But apparently it didn’t see the show as the flop other networks saw it as. I guess it worked out for them because it’s wildly popular, but that doesn’t make it a good show.

ABC Family also has created a “Bring It On” spin-off, despite the bad sequels, which makes me wonder why they would make another one. There also was the made-for-TV “Mean Girls 2,” which was atrocious. Tina Fey and the cast of the original “Mean Girls” is what made the first movie awesome. Once you take out the good things from a movie, you can’t make a sequel.

ABC Family now has been trying its hand at original programming for about the past five years. I think it should stick with what it’s good at: buying reruns from other networks and airing those during the day and “Harry Potter” on the weekends.

Up-and-coming pop and hip-hop performer Mike Posner’s concert Wednesday at the Auditorium definitely exceeded my expectations. I practically was unaware of his work prior to attending the show, but walked away impressed.

In fact, I only had heard two of his most popular songs, so I was skeptical about whether I’d enjoy the rest of his music.

But before I get to Posner, I have to talk about his opening act, Kelley James. As doubtful as I was about Posner, I overwhelmingly doubted whoever would be opening for him.

Who is Kelley James? Is it a female singer? Is it a band — a female band? I was clueless.

It turns out it’s a band who gets its namesake from the name of the Californian lead singer and guitarist. Just as with Posner, my expectations were blown out of the water. My concert experience is limited, but James was the best opening act I’ve seen in person.

They played a couple of original songs, which were excellent, but the highlight was when James asked the crowd for someone to yell out two of the most random words.

A girl who made her way up to the stage eventually delivered the wonderfully creative message, “Cucumber and pickle.” James continued to ask her name, her class standing and hometown. That was all he needed to continue on to a personalized freestyle song that got the whole crowd laughing.

When Posner finally came on stage, the crowd was electric. The energy never died down from the minute he stepped on stage until the minute he finished. I was impressed with Posner’s ability to keep the crowd involved and entertained.

His stage presence was impressive for such a relatively young artist, reminiscent of something I would expect from a veteran artist.

What contributed to keeping up the hype and energy in the venue was Posner seamlessly moved from song to song. Although it sounds simple, it’s not exactly a common practice at most concerts. Often, artists take their time between songs to crack jokes or tell a story.

At the conclusion of the performance, Posner faked an exit by saying, “Goodbye,” waved to the crowd and left the stage as it faded to black. Minutes later — after a series of cheers — he appeared back on stage wearing a MSU basketball jersey and performed his final song, “Cooler Than Me.” It was quite the crowd pleaser.

Kelley, who has been touring with Posner for weeks, said at the conclusion of his performance that Posner has been saying for weeks, “Just wait until we get to State.”

It’s safe to say he exceeded my expectations, and I’m assuming the MSU crowd met his.

Whether you love it or hate it, MTV’s “Jersey Shore” has become a nationwide hit.

The success of many people’s guilty pleasure has spawned three successful seasons with the filming of a fourth set to start soon.

The off-the-wall cast members have become household names and basically have gained celebrity status. Since appearing on the show, the cast has had multiple public appearances at awards shows, in commercials and some even have their own books. Most recently, Rutgers University paid Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi $32,000 to speak at the school about her reality TV lifestyle. That’s $2,000 more than Nobel prize winning author Toni Morrison, who is scheduled to speak at the university’s commencement ceremony in May.

These seemingly average people now are all very recognizable figures in pop culture, but for what?

Essentially, an episode of “Jersey Shore” contains drinking, tanning, partying, working out, drinking, random hookups and fights in some varying order. The cast now has made a career out of partying and basically doing nothing of real value. In fact, the members of the shore house are rumored to make $30,000 per episode.

That’s not to say the cast can’t be entertaining. The group does have a great balance of characters and personalities that make for good television. The dynamics of the house are what make the show so attractive and people have come to expect certain things from certain cast members so much that they have their own following.

As if their stardom wasn’t overwhelming already, MTV recently announced two new spin-off shows featuring three members of the cast.

Set to air in 2012, Polizzi and Jenni “J-Woww” Farley, who are close friends away from the set of “Jersey Shore,” will have their own reality show that will document their relationship and everyday lives. Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, who is one of the most iconic characters in the show, also will be featured in his own spin-off show that follows his life as a DJ when he’s not being filmed on the beach.

According to MTV, the two projects have yet to be named.

When did the lives of these people become so interesting? The announcement of the spin-offs come as no surprise, as MTV likely is searching for its next cash cow. It was evident after the conclusion of the third season of “Jersey Shore” that the appeal of the nearly routine lifestyle of the shore only would take them so far. Even the addition of a new roommate in the house wasn’t enough to make the season seem fresh — one couldn’t help but feel the show was getting repetitive after Sam and Ronnie’s 100th fight.

This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy the show, I’ve been interested ever since I saw the pilot episode when the first season debuted. But it is sickening that these people are bringing in six-figure incomes for practically doing nothing. At least nothing of real value to society, that is.

I’m sure there are hundreds of kids on college campuses across the nation who would drool at the opportunity to be on national TV partying, drinking and basically acting like fools for thousands of dollars.

With the exception of Pauly D, who actually has a career as a resident DJ at Palms Las Vegas Casino and Resort starting this summer, these cast members have become celebrities for what some would consider irresponsible, trashy and classless behavior.

As a college student working to earn a degree and hopefully a sustainable career one day, it is sometimes disgusting to think these young people have made a living by partying and living a vacation life. Their only concerns are to make sure they still are entertaining to the viewers, which they usually cure with a couple more shots or a dramatic fight. Only in America can people get paid to be filmed partying and living it up on a house on the beach.

Many people have dreamed of living the rock-star lifestyle.

It’s fun to have an endless amount of money to spend recklessly and live without any regard for the consequences.

Yes, partying like a rock star is fun, but it’s these very reasons that no one wants to rent their house out to a rock star.

Apparently Chicago Bulls forward Carlos Boozer never learned this lesson, as he fatefully decided to lease his 10-bedroom, 11-bathroom Beverly Hills mansion to Prince for eight months.

You would think Boozer, who has made more than $150 million in his career, wouldn’t need the additional income of a lease. But according to the Chicago Tribune, Boozer said the money was too much to turn down.

“I was like, ‘I’m not leasing my house,’” Boozer said. “The amount of money he was willing to pay made me reconsider. And that’s how Prince rented my house out.”

The amount of money added up to $70,000 a month, or $560,000 total.

Evidently there was something about Boozer’s house that brought out Prince’s inner rock star, as he felt it necessary to give the NBA star’s home a complete makeover.

Prince painted the exterior of the house with purple stripes and the “Prince” symbol along with installing purple monogrammed carpeting in the master bedroom and adding plumbing for the use of water for beauty salon chairs.

But Boozer wasn’t too fond of the subtle decor changes.

Boozer’s former teammate at Duke, Jay Williams, said on “The Waddle & Silvy Show” on ESPN 1000 that Boozer called Williams in disbelief after seeing the changes to his house and originally not recognizing it.

“I remember him calling me, (saying) ‘Dude, you will never guess, I rode past my house like three times, I had no idea it was my house,’” Williams said.

Williams said Boozer was so livid, he wanted to confront Prince physically before the musician snapped off a $1 million check to fix what he had done.

There’s no doubt Prince lives in his own, strange, purple-tinted universe, but there must have been a purple downpour one day for him to think dramatically changing the house he was leasing was rational.

Prince is just the latest celebrity to show that bizarre decision making quickly can be forgotten when you have buckets of money to throw at the problem.

Although it’s definitely still fashionable to dream of partying like a rock star, make sure the party’s happening at the house down the street.

Unlike one performer’s recent trip to Michigan, David Sedaris’ show at Wharton Center on Monday night actually was a success.

The best-selling writer and humorist — author of notable books such as “Me Talk Pretty One Day” and “When You Are Engulfed in Flames” — was on-hand to share his unique take on life through the witty humor he is known for and performed much better than Charlie Sheen in the process.

Sedaris walked on stage at Wharton Center’s Cobb Great Hall to warm applause and spent the next hour and 45 minutes taking the audience through a small sampling of his writings.

He read aloud from a collection of both short stories and essays and also offered a book recommendation for Tobias Wolff’s “The Barracks Thief.”

Sedaris’ writings covered everything from his travels around the world and his difficulties with learning foreign languages to his antics as a young child on his local country club’s swim team.

When talking about his travels, Sedaris joked one of the only German words he actually used and understood for a long time was the phrase for “Caesarean section.”

“Isn’t that the joy of travel?” he mused. “There’s always something to scratch your head over.”

Most of the time, his intelligent-yet-subtle humor drew laughter from the audience, which clearly appreciated his skill as a writer. His skill as a storyteller also was on display throughout the night, particularly when talking about his past.

Sedaris found humor in the early trials of his boyhood, which centered around a lack of praise from his father.

While making light of the situation, he also recognized that the absence of support from his dad ultimately was what made him so successful.

“It’s what got me out of bed every morning,” he said. “When I failed, (that drive) is what kept me going.”

Clearly, the night was not all about comedy. He also provided meaningful, serious thoughts on life including its many eccentricities and ups and downs.

His personal diary entries were particularly funny and added a nice conclusion to the show.

The well-traveled writer was overall a great guest to bring to Wharton — funny and lighthearted, yet intelligent and thought-provoking. Bravo, Mr. Sedaris.

Charlie Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option” tour touched down in Detroit on Saturday, and from the sound of it, defeat was the only option.

The reviews of Sheen and his attempt to capitalize on recent bizarre behavior have been overwhelmingly critical, with critics calling the show “haphazard,” “boring” and “awkward at best.”

Sheen was assaulted with boos and jeers and showed no ability to calm his restless audience.

The surprise is that some people were surprised. What did they expect?

Sheen isn’t a stand-up comic. He doesn’t know how to work the stage, keep an audience engaged or contain unruly hecklers.

There was no reason to believe Sheen could write a comedic or entertaining act, considering he’s made a career of reading other people’s work.

It is as if people didn’t realize Sheen is not the brains behind this operation, but rather the crazy, incoherent mess that’s been spawned through a life of entitlement and overindulgence.

It’s been clear for some time that Sheen isn’t mentally or emotionally stable. His history of violent and irrational behavior has been well documented.

So when Saturday’s show came off as uncreative and poorly thought out, how surprised can one be?

He promised celebrities that didn’t come, entertainment that never happened and showed video clips in place of an act.

He made derogatory jokes about the city of Detroit and responded to one heckler by saying, “I already got your money, dude!”

Yet the anger and outrage displayed toward Sheen seemed to be unwarranted.

The show sold out almost instantly, with no description of what his act would entail.

The expectation wasn’t a meticulously planned-out act, such as that of Jerry Seinfeld or a social commentary by Chris Rock.

No, people wanted a ringside seat to witness the craziness that has made national headlines for more than a month.

That’s exactly what they got, the chance to view a reckless and unstable celebrity in person without the veil of scripted television.

Maybe he just wasn’t disturbed enough.

Pittsburgh rapper Wiz Khalifa released his third album “Rolling Papers” on Tuesday.

The album is supposed to serve as a breakthrough for Khalifa, who saw a big increase in mainstream popularity in 2010 for his popular Pittsburgh anthem “Black and Yellow” and the subsequent imitations by other artists.

Although I never have been a big fan of Khalifa, “Rolling Papers” is the first album of his that I’ve been able to listen to from start to finish. Khalifa brought his best work to the table and proved to critics and doubters that he isn’t more bark than bite.

Let’s get this out of the way ahead of time: Khalifa’s lyrics are about as deep as a rain puddle in the African desert.

In the majority of his work, he’s talking about weed, smoking weed, buying weed, thinking about weed and spending massive amounts of money on women and weed.

It’s not the subject matter that bothers me, but the repetitiveness of it — the man has made his entire career to this point on the merits of getting high, and making sure everybody knows about it on a constant basis.

I even would argue the content of lyrics is correlated to his inability to rise up into the mainstream music market to this point.
This album doesn’t vary that aspect up at all — even the title of the album doesn’t bother to confuse anybody.

But what the music lacks in quality and varying themes, it more than makes up for with a melodic flow and clever hooks that make his music catchy and embraces his signature style.

The album embodies the mixtape genre where Khalifa has made his name and it immediately caters to his followers. His mixtape “Kush and Orange Juice” arguably is as good as any of the albums he has released.

Although it’s not clear if “Rolling Papers” will be as groundbreaking or memorable as “Tha Carter III” or “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” have been in recent years, Khalifa steps into the spotlight and embraces the role as one of hip-hop’s young guns.

Others such as Big Sean, Mike Posner, Kid Cudi, Lupe Fiasco, J. Cole and Nicki Minaj also personify that role and are on the cusp of hip-hop superstardom.

It’s important to remember Khalifa is 23 and isn’t nearly as polished as he eventually will be.

There are questions about whether Khalifa can stay out of legal trouble ­— he was arrested in November 2010 for having 60 grams of weed on his tour bus. Legal trouble could derail a very promising career with a lot of potential.

But if he can remain hungry to get to the top, Khalifa will be a force to be reckoned for years to come in the hip-hop community.

For now, Khalifa has released a strong album that likely will receive radio play, and I hope he will parlay that popularity into another tour and eventually, mainstream success.

The NCAA Tournament might be winding down to a finish, but the Madden video game has caught a bad case of March Madness.

While the NFL and NFL Players’ Association argue about minor details such as divvying up billions of dollars and whether an 18-game regular season would cripple 80 percent of their players within 10 years of retirement, Electronic Arts isn’t going to let something like the lack of an actual football season get in the way of producing their most popular video game.

Aside from being recognized as one of the most profitable video games in the market, Madden is known for the infamous curse befalling the athlete who graces the cover.

As the old proverb states, there only are three things one can count on: death, taxes and the Madden curse … or something like that.

Whether it’s Michael Vick breaking his leg after appearing on the cover of the 2004 edition or Donovan McNabb tearing his anterior cruciate ligament and meniscus in his right knee in 2006, the curse has been well documented and has countless believers.

This year Madden has decided to remove some of the blame from themselves and put it squarely on the American public, as they have partnered with ESPN to allow fans to vote, bracket-style, on this year’s cover athlete.

The curse has reached such proportions that Terry Foster of the Detroit News wrote a column urging Detroit Lions fans to refrain from voting for defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, because the organization is cursed enough as it is.

Fortunately for Lions fans, Suh didn’t make it past the first round of voting, losing to Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, as the competition just entered the second round.

I commend the brain trust at Electronic Arts for taking the discussion away from the looming lockout and coming up with a creative and outside-the-box way to interact with fans and market the game.

My only complaint resides with the cast of players fans are limited to choosing among.

For example, the Carolina Panthers were represented by offensive lineman Jordan Gross, hardly a household name.

The Seattle Seahawks representative wasn’t even a player, but their fans know him as “The 12th Man”. The person on the cover should be someone gamers can’t wait to try out on the digital field. What would “The 12th Man” offer, lessons on how to cheer? We know how to cheer.

That said, kudos to Madden for keeping their game in the news and finding a way to turn March and April into football months.

After several months of lying low, Chris Brown has burst back on the scene for all of the wrong reasons.

Several days after his album “FAME” was released nationwide, the embattled R&B star spent the early parts of Tuesday on the set of ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

“Good Morning America” anchor Robin Roberts was interviewing Brown and asked him if he still was in contact with pop singer and former girlfriend, Rihanna.

For those unfamiliar with the situation, Brown and Rihanna were dating in 2009 when Brown assaulted the singer, leaving her battered and bloody. Brown later pleaded guilty to a charge of felony assault and was sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community labor.

Brown shrugged off the question and said, “I mean, not really. …”
Roberts again brought up the Rihanna incident when Brown proceeded to cut her off, citing his desire to talk about the new album and not events of the past.

He performed a live rendition of his new song “Yeah 3x,” and stormed off of the stage, ABC reported.

After a disturbance was reported in Brown’s room, ABC reported officials arrived to see Brown had smashed a window in his dressing room, as glass from the incident rained down on the street.

So, in other words, in his attempt to remake his image and prove he doesn’t have anger issues before a national audience, he not only reinforced his negative image, but embraced those actions.

After all was said and done, I don’t feel too bad for Brown for what Roberts asked him.

Roberts, as the quality journalist she is, asked him a real question instead of kissing his feet. She could have given Brown a hot stone massage while simultaneously praising his album, but she decided to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

We live in a world where broadcast journalists take a story like the one of Ted Williams — aka the homeless man with the golden voice — and praise his story because it’s so uplifting and cute.

What the Meredith Vieiras and Chris Wragges of the world fail to realize is that Williams was homeless because he abandoned his wife and nine children to succumb to a life of drugs and alcohol.

This was the dark side of the fun little story, so it was ignored altogether.

Although in a different circumstance than Williams, Brown directly is responsible for his actions, as well.

Brown could have told Roberts he learned from his actions and apologize to his family, friends and fans and move on. Instead, he threw a tantrum, sent a few immature tweets and played the victim card on national television. Sorry, but no.

All the haters and critics in the world can’t justify Brown’s actions, and I hope he comes to realize that sooner rather than later.

I’m sure “FAME” is a quality album like most of his other work, and his actions won’t deter me from, at the least, downloading it in the confines of my dorm room. But I can’t help but be skeptical of a talented singer and songwriter who abuses every chance he gets.

My plan always was to get out of Michigan. I knew that when I headed off to college, I would leave the Mitten State for some other land.

It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the state in which I was raised. I mean, I like Michigan’s natural beauty. As a resident, I am able to enjoy our Great Lakes and forests. I appreciate each of Michigan’s four seasons — that I can sunbathe in the summer, make snowballs in the winter, jump into piles of leaves in the fall and marvel at the greenery in the spring.

It is a wonderful state in so many respects, but I just wanted to get out and explore. I wanted to go somewhere cultured — to a city were I could eat great food and observe great art. But most of all, I wanted to see great shows.

When I thought of my collegiate future in New York City or Chicago, I imagined spending weekend after weekend seeing the best of bands. Bands both known and unknown came to and lived in these big cities. This is where they performed.

But my dreams of a cultured existence soon were shattered. Because of the price of out-of-state tuition, I stayed in Michigan. I ended up moving here to East Lansing to attend MSU.

For many years, I didn’t believe in Michigan’s artistic achievements. I didn’t realize the creative potential of Michigan musicians. But after enrolling at MSU and finally coming to terms with the fact that I would be spending my college years in state, I began to take notice. There are musicians — great musicians — in Michigan.

It started with Frontier Ruckus. My friend took me to a show in December 2010 at Mac’s Bar, 2700 E. Michigan Ave., in Lansing, to see the band. That night, I heard music consisting of a banjo, singing saw, literary lyrics and nostalgia. It was lovely.

And then I discovered more. There’s the earthy and whimsical Breathe Owl Breathe. There’s Dog & Panther, whose music is electric, with layered sounds and a leading voice that’s often likened to that of Death Cab for Cutie’s Ben Gibbard. There’s Jeff Pianki, whose acoustic guitar-driven sound is plucky, honest and optimistic.

The examples I just have shared mostly are of a folksy nature. Sorry, those are my kinds of jams. But I am open to more — to experience the other genres represented by other Michigan creators. Because as I’ve learned, they are here. There are all kinds of people performing in their native East Lansing, Grand Rapids, Detroit and Ann Arbor.

I’ve just got to find them.