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My first political rally

First: I try to stay out of politics. I would love to take this opportunity to throw out some Sarah Palin jokes and call my readers “mavericks,” but this blog is officially nonpartisan and I’m refraining.

Second: I think Barack Obama’s voice should be reserved for books on tape, car insurance commercials, and as the voice of God in my dreams. Actually, God has never spoken to me in my dreams (or real life), but if he did, it would be in the form of Obama. Clearly, I like the guy’s voice.

So when I heard the Democratic presidential hopeful would be coming to MSU’s campus, I knew I’d be there. I had never been to a political rally — really, if I wasn’t covering it for the newspaper, I wouldn’t ever go to a political anything. I feel political discussion just causes drama between parties, and we’d all get along better if we didn’t dissect it.

But Obama was coming. To MSU. And I had to be there.

So I went. I woke up late and should have been much farther back in the line than I was, but thanks to a few friends from my lovely hometown of Midland, Mich. I was one of the jerks who cut. (To all of you I cut: I’m sorry. I hate it when people do that. I promise it won’t happen again, and if it makes any difference, I did apologize to the people directly behind me who I cut in front of. I accept any bad karma I get from this heinous deed.)

After funneling through metal detectors and being asked to register to vote at least 27 times, I had a good spot about 25 feet from Obama.

And then I stood. I stood and I stood and I stood, oh, and I stood. For three and a half hours I waited for Obama to come to the podium. Now, I’ve been to a lot of concerts. I’ve stood for hours. But never in my life have I been sandwiched between such monstrously obese people. I felt that this was the same feeling you get right before being crushed to death Indiana Jones style. I would have tried to hover closer to the ground (not hard with a 5’1” stature), but the woman in front of me had not shaved her legs in at least ten years, combined with a likely skin disease which caused what looked like dandruff to create a snow pile around her ankles. I. Am. Not. Joking.

I dealt with it. I feel incredibly bad for everyone who spoke before Obama. With about 20,000 people in the crowd, it must be rough to know that every single one of them wants you to stop talking and just get the show on the road.

Finally after what felt like hours — oh, wait, it was hours — Obama spoke.

Now, I could sit here and tell you how I agreed with everything he said, and how his ideals were spot-on, but like I said before — I don’t want to dissect politics on this blog. But even if you hate Obama — if you really detest everything you stand for — you can’t deny that his voice is frickin’ awesome. Seeing him in person is about 60 billion times better than watching him on TV. Essentially, seeing Obama speak is a necessity for Democrats and Republicans alike.

In other news, where are the ideas for first times? The best (or worst) idea I have received so far is to go on a blind date. Not that creative. So send me your ideas (nealthea@gmail.com), or post them on here. As long as it doesn’t require being sandwiched between the world’s fattest people, I’ll sign on.