My first time in a parade

Bay City, Mich. — Up here in Bay City, the St. Patrick’s Day Parade is no joke.

More than 60,000 people flood the city to watch the more than 130 entries waddle down Center Avenue, Bay City’s most historic and charming street. When I first found out I would be reporting on the parade, I immediately decided to take on a mission: I was going to be on a float.

I’d never been in a parade before, let alone a parade that people actually took seriously. The last parade I attended was the Gay Pride Parade in New York City last summer — a six-hour long extravaganza, where it poured rain and I loved every moment of it. Sandwiched between flamboyant New Yorkers on Gay Street, it was the most fun I’d had in years. Not even rain could stop it.

Now, the Bay City St. Pat’s Parade was nothing like that. Virtually, nothing like that.

This parade had babies and dogs and beauty queens (not that the Gay Pride Parade didn’t have its fair share of those, boys and girls) and old men and old women — and a whole lot of green. When I showed up on the scene, I immediately encountered a dog, Buddy the Airedale Terrier, clad in the festive color. Literally. His owners dyed him with Kool-Aid. Oh, Bay City.

Walking down the street with the parade entrants, St. Patrick’s Day Parade Association publicist Brian Krause asked me if I wanted to hop on a float. Um, yes.

I was escorted to the most patriotic float of all — the Bay City Fireworks Festival float. If there’s two things Bay City does big, it’s St. Patrick’s Day and the Fourth of July. I climbed a ladder onto the float, where I sat next to Fourth of July beauty queens, clad in their fur coats, tiaras propped atop their heads. Coming off four hours sleep, I looked like a Ford Taurus compared to their Maserati Granturismos. (Me = fail.)

I was pumped that I had accomplished my mission to be on the float. As the old Ford van puttered down the street with its roof cut off, decorated to the nines with American flags and American banners and well, everything American (which was probably all made in China to begin with), the pageant executive director Kim Schwartz informed me that I had to wave. Wave on a float? Like a beauty queen? Yeah, right, I’m too cool for that. Or so I thought.

I dare you to try not to smile at people taking pictures of you on their cell phones (not sure what they do with those pictures, but oh well), toddlers jumping up and down waiting for you to acknowledge them (while I think “Please, don’t run out in front of this float, please”), and even old grannies pick up their wrinkly hands and throw you a wave.

It is literally impossible not to wave at these people. Sure, it’s silly, and you feel a bit foolish at first, but once you get past that, it’s impossible to stop. I waved at everyone. If you weren’t waving, I was going to make you wave.

There was no rain at this parade. However, there was 38-degree weather, making sitting atop a moving float a chilly experience. My bare hands stung, but I continued to wave, despite feeling like I was chilling in the Himalayas with no gloves.

It was worth freezing to be part of the parade. It was a blast, the people were great, and my pageant wave is perfected. While the Gay Pride Parade was a massive production, the quaint, yet bold style of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade was unique to the small city. This town is great. It’s full of spirit, it’s passionate, and it has some of the greatest people I’ve ever met.

It’s the real City. Take that, Whitney Port .