Looming pick-up artists make bar nights uncomfortable

By Kris Turner

Created:
04/03/08 8:55pm

Last updated:
04/03/08 8:55pm

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Don’t hit on my girlfriends.

And please, don’t use a cheesy pickup line like, “I’m doing a survey and wanted to ask you a few questions.”

Desperate men are a problem in East Lansing. They stand brooding in bars, waiting for some poor woman to accidentally make eye contact with them. That’s when they strike, leaving a trail of bad cologne in their wake.

I’ve seen this happen to my friends and other people in almost every bar I frequent. It’s awkward when someone – who is either past their prime or lacks any social skill – comes over to a table, sets down a drink and thinks it’s OK to begin going from girl to girl, seeing if anyone will take their bait.

Guess what? It’s rude to burst into a conversation of strangers, especially when they are clearly not looking to hook up. No one wants to hear your story and no one wants to deal with you. Unless invited or engaged in some other fashion, stick to your dark corner.

Much like the stray cats East Lansing tried to regulate a while back, desperate men need to be handled in some manner. Perhaps the East Lansing City Council can pass an ordinance that allows these men to be captured and released back into wherever place it is they came from.

Until there’s a day when my girlfriends and I can have a few cocktails in peace, we will continue to shoot disapproving looks to hopeful desperate men everywhere. And beware, if you do happen to sit at our table, it’s not going to end well for you. We won’t take your drinks or shots – we’ll simply return the favor that you’ve bestowed on so many bar patrons throughout the years making sure your night is awkward and very uncomfortable.

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About Man About Town

Veteran staffer and super senior Kris Turner writes about life in “E.L.” and all the things associated with it.

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