The List — Best & Worst College Nicknames

By Jacob Carpenter

Created:
11/18/08 9:34pm

Last updated:
11/18/08 9:34pm

11 comments

In middle school, I used to pride myself on the fact that I knew every Division I football team’s nickname. It was one of my greatest accomplishments, up there with graduating from elementary school and perfecting cursive in fourth grade.

A few of my friends and I would wander the school halls, trying to best one another by rattling off schools and hoping others wouldn’t know the accompanying nickname.

While I’m still pretty up-to-date on football teams, my knowledge of the 300-plus Division I basketball teams is not as acute.

This was discussed today after the Western Illinois nickname, the Leathernecks, was semi-randomly brought up in the newsroom today. It brought me back to those middle school days, when it was actually cool to know university nicknames.

So for today’s list, it’s a two-for-one deal. The best college nicknames (Spartans not included) along with the dumbest.

Best nicknames:

1. Canoneers (Pratt Institute) — Instead of going traditional with its military nickname, the Brooklyn, N.Y., school (formerly home to one Pam Beesly) mixed a classy sounding name with a strong soldier.

2. Delta Devils (Mississippi Valley State University) — Putting location and fear together into one nickname is always a winning combination, especially in the Valley.

3. Green Terror (McDaniel College) — Apparently green strikes fear in teams (there’s also the Green Wave and Mean Green), but this small Maryland school beats out its competition.

4. Lasers (Lasell College) — This Massachusetts college already had brownie points for alliteration, but then it added to its street cred (is there street cred in Newton, Mass.?) with Lasers.

5. Soaring Eagles (Elmira College) — Which came first? The Elmira College nickname or Mount Pleasant casino? This is bigger than the chicken or the egg.

Worst nicknames:

1. Banana Slugs (University of California-Santa Cruz) — Pairing a fruit with a slimy mollusk rarely works well in the nickname business.

2. Bearkats (Sam Houston State University) — Nothing says “higher education” more than using an incorrect spelling of an animal, even if the name was originally meant to be more mythological than real.

3. Dirtbags (Long Beach State University) — When somebody asks you about your school, you can proudly say, “I’m a Spartan.” I’m guessing Long Beach State alumni mumble through that one themselves.

4. Jackrabbits (South Dakota State University) — I’m debating which is worse: Being the Rabbits or being the Jackrabbits. I’ll go with the latter.

5. Prairie Fire (Knox College) — If you’re going to be named after a weather occurrence, at least go big with Tornadoes or Green Wave or Hurricanes. Not something that mostly threatens jackrabbits. (Although, apparently a prairie fire is a mixed drink containing an alcoholic beverage and Tabasco sauce. That’s what I call a great first impression.)

Commentary

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Richard Barrett

(11/19/08 2:07am)
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Mr. Carpenter,

I am a proud DIRTBAG fan, class of ’88 alum, Long Beach State. In the future you might want to do some research before you make assumptions. Here is the story behind the nickname:

“The moniker was first coined for Coach Dave Snow’s first team in 1989 which was comprised of nearly all new players. Playing without a home field, and practicing at a local all-dirt Pony League Field, that team won its first 18 games and advanced to the 49ers first College World Series appearance.

“Then-infield coach Dave Malpass would take his infielders to the all-dirt field for their rigorous workout. The infielders would return to the regular practice field after their sessions covered in dirt. Thus the name “Dirtbags” was born.” (http://longbeachstate.cstv.com/sports/m-basebl/spec-rel/dirtbagmeaning.html)

All 49ers are proud to be Dirtbags!

Kind Regards,
Richard Barrett
La Mirada, CA

Jason B

(11/19/08 7:20am)
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Richard, not everyone knows the origin of college’s nicknames. When you scan the list of schools and see one that sounds goofy you just think “wow, that’s a dumb nickname.” People aren’t going to look up the origin of everything before they make a judgement. That’s all Jacob’s doing here, showing the ones he thinks are the dumbest. While “dirtbags” might have come from something that is a source of pride for your school, all anyone else sees is the nickname, not the history. He said we was listing the 5 dumbest nicknames, not the 5 dumbest reasons for the nicknames. If you’re suggesting that he should have looked up the origin of 300+ nicknames before he decided which ones to list, that just wouldn’t make any sense.

97

(11/19/08 10:15am)
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This is kind of a stupid article. Carpenter should do some research. Not on all 300 nicknames, but perhaps on the 5 best and worst that he picked. Basically laziness and a filler article. What else is new for the SN…

Jason B

(11/19/08 11:01am)
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Why does he need to do research? That’s my point. Anyone that sees “Long Beach State University Dirtbags” and thinks it’s dumb is not going to take the time to look up where it came from. That’s the point of a nickname, it’s the shorthand label that you are known by, and it’s what people view/judge you by. That’s why teams pick intimidating nicknames, that’s the first thing that gives someone an impression of you. So unless you want to change your nickname to “Long Beach State University Dirtbags from the dirt fields that our infielders practiced on when we won all our games before our first CWS appearance” you’ll just have to deal with people looking at our nickname and thinking it’s dumb.

The article is for entertainment, not a fact-finding history lesson.

Jason B

(11/19/08 11:03am)
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I meant “looking at Your nickname”

Mr. Ernst

(11/19/08 12:09pm)
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Does Mr. Carpenter know that there are MAN-EATING Jackrabbits?

Next, he’ll make fun of the University of Southwestern Arizona State University Killer Cacti.

Ryan

(11/19/08 12:42pm)
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Isn’t one of the Louisiana schools called the ‘Rajun Cajuns’? That is the coolest nickname.

Fred

(11/19/08 1:58pm)
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That’s Cannoneer, since they use cannons.

Bill Lumbergh

(11/19/08 3:21pm)
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There really are man-eating jackrabbits, huh? Are there jackalopes, unicorns, and ligers too?

Eric

(11/20/08 12:25pm)
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There actually are ligers, see here: http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/10/31/2059244-liger-attack-kills-animal-handler

Kary Gentry

(11/20/08 7:07pm)
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The spelling of “Bearkat” was decided to be spelled that way because it is a mythical animal. It comes from an old East Texas saying, “tough as a bearkat!” We happen to like it that way because it is UNIQUE. Now go on and worry about the “Nittany Lions”!

Kary Gentry
Spring, TX
SHSU Alumnus and Proud BEARKAT!

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Sports reporter Jacob Carpenter examines sports issues from the past and present.

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